What Are The Beliefs Behind Your Behaviors?

You see a snake…and you run away.

Someone in line in front of you at the supermarket is writing a check…you roll your eyes and mumble to yourself.

A customer asks about getting a deal…and you get defensive.

In each scenario we see both a trigger and a response. The triggers are unavoidable; the response is entirely up to you.

Stimulus and Response

That premise comes from the work of psychologist Victor Frankl, author of Man’s Search for Meaning. Frankl suggests that between stimulus and response lies a choice.

Snake = stimulus; run = response. You made a choice.

Customer asking about a deal = stimulus; getting defensive = response. Still, your choice.

This is an important lesson – in sales and in life. We cannot always control the stimuli, but we always control the response.

This is why I would cringe when my children would say something like, “That guy made me so mad.” Wrong, wrong, wrong. That ‘guy’ only has as much power as we give him. He didn’t make you mad. YOU made you mad.

The Foundation of Response

The choice you make (and correspondingly the attitude you adopt) is up to you.

But what is that choice based upon? How and why do we choose as we do?

This is one of the more important lessons I have learned in my life. My choices reflect what I believe.

Let me offer an example.

I meet a new prospect and that individual immediately displays a cold and even combative attitude. I have several response options:

  • Match their curtness with my own.
  • Become cynical.
  • Play the victim and let them have their way.
  • Stay positive and try to get them turned around.

The option I choose is determined by my beliefs. So let me add a belief to each option:

  • Match their curtness with my own…because I don’t want to show them I am weak.
  • Become cynical…because I have better things to do than to deal with clowns like this.
  • Play the victim and let them have their way…because I don’t like confrontation.
  • Stay positive and try to get them turned around…because customers are going through a difficult process and they need me to stay strong.

It is the belief – it is always the belief – that guides the action.

Application

Every choice we make and every action we take has its foundation in our beliefs. So take some time to ponder these questions:

  • What do I really believe about my customers?
  • What do I believe about my value proposition?
  • What do I believe about my standards of excellence?
  • What do I believe about the value I bring to my company? To my customers?
  • What do I believe about the market?

As you attempt to understand your beliefs you will also be able to determine how those beliefs drive your actions, your behaviors, your attitudes, and your conversations.

That is where the breakthrough comes through.

Get your beliefs right, and you can change your world.


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About the Author: Jeff Shore

Jeff Shore is the Founder and CEO of Shore Consulting, Inc. a company specializing in psychology-based sales training programs. Using these modern, game-changing techniques, Jeff Shore’s clients delivered over 145,000 new homes generating $54 billion in revenue last year.