3 Ways the Best Sales People Use the Empathy Advantage

Laura is a friend of mine who works part-time in the tasting room of a winery. She tells me that for the most part the people she meets are friendly and fun to spend time with. But then there are those other types…

At a winery you are bound to meet up with those few people who seem to get out on the wrong side of the bed every single morning. They are pushy and demanding and, quite frankly, rude.

Too bad, really. A day of wine tasting is fun and enjoyable. How is it that some people can’t seem to even get the good times right?

And that’s just for wine. Imagine what these people are like when shopping for a car, or a home, or insurance, or jewelry.

The Empathy Advantage

I’m not suggesting that we need to put up with people who are abusive in any way, but I do believe there is room for empathy in such situations.

Empathy is not about feeling for someone; it’s about feeling with someone. It is feeling what another person feels.

Too often we (I) tend to jump to a decision about a person’s character based on their expressed behavior. In reality, that is a very shallow way to look at the situation.

Who knows what that rude or demanding person might be going through:

  • A car buyer might be in the market because his last car was totaled….and the accident injured a family member.
  • A home buyer might be in the market because she needs a home…once her divorce is finalized.
  • An insurance buyer might be looking for a term life policy…because a close friend passed away unexpectedly.
  • A woman shopping for jewelry might be looking for just the right ring….because her wedding band was recently stolen.

Empathy allows you to feel what your customer is feeling, and that changes everything. So, before you make a character judgment, perhaps it would be wise to assume there is more going on beneath the surface.

Here are three ways you can use the empathy advantage:

1. Prove Your Understanding

Being understood is important to your customer. When you are listening to that demanding customer, stop for a moment and repeat back what you hear. Your sentence should start with, “What I hear you saying is….” It should end with, “Do I have that right”?

Even if you have to deliver bad news, the customer will at least know that their case was properly heard.

2. Favor a “Won’t” vs. “Can’t” Approach

Nothing infuriates the demanding customer more than the words, “We can’t.”

Why is that a problem? Because, nine times out of ten, it is simply not the case. We can…we just won’t.

Don’t say, “We can’t do that.” Instead, try saying, “Let me explain why we won’t do that.” Of course, you had better have a good reason to justify the policy, but beginning with “We won’t” makes for a much more appropriate and definitive statement.

3. Protect Your Own Energy

Some people are, in fact, will be difficult. You already know that. The key is to make a unilateral decision about your own energy.

Never get caught saying, “That guy made me so mad”!

That is just not true. “That guy” does not have that much power. He didn’t make you mad without your permission.

Make the unilateral decision to protect your own mindset.

Look, you’re going to deal with difficult people. But a well-considered strategy will give you the best chance of turning them into your best customers.

Who knows, you might just change their world.


FREE TRAINING:
Get BRAND-NEW episodes of Jeff’s 5 Minute Sales Training sent to your inbox every Saturday!

Sign up below.

 

About the Author: Jeff Shore

Jeff Shore is the Founder and CEO of Shore Consulting, Inc. a company specializing in psychology-based sales training programs. Using these modern, game-changing techniques, Jeff Shore’s clients delivered over 145,000 new homes generating $54 billion in revenue last year.