Talking to Your Customer About Their Dreams – Part 4

By Jeff Shore

​(Author’s note: This is part four of a series on how to talk to your customers. For parts one, two and three, click here.)

How deeply do you feel like diving into your customer’s emotional core? Well, the answer might just be linked to how much you want the sale.

One of the significant issues that salespeople face is questioning just how much they need to connect with their customer’s hopes and dreams. It’s one thing to get a general understanding of what the prospect is looking for; it is an entirely different experience to truly connect with what that really means to a customer on an emotional level.

Many salespeople are awkward and uncomfortable when it comes to getting into the emotional weeds. That’s a problem, because it is at this level that customers make their most significant decisions. We are driven by our dreams; we just don’t typically about them with salespeople.

You might find it uncomfortable at times, but this is where the magic happens.

“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” Brené Brown

Three things to think about if you want to get down to the core of your customer’s emotional journey:

1. Be Curious

You must want to know. It’s not enough to be curious about their needs; you must be curious about their soul.

Curiosity is one of the most under appreciated aspects of a great salesperson. The problem is that we often do not allow our curiosity to penetrate to the emotional level. The “How do you feel about that?” types of questions get left off.

That’s a big mistake – because at that emotional level, magic happens.

Be brave, my friends. Ask the deeper questions.

2. Be Empathetic

Empathy is not about understanding what a customer is going through (that would be called sympathy). It’s about actually feeling what a customer is going through.

Empathy is a cooperative thing. I am side-by-side with my customer, feeling both their joy and their pain.

Ask about dreams with the purpose of deeply connecting. Do not judge. Take your own views and opinions out of the conversation. Step into the customer’s future life.

3. Be an Advocate

You must give your customer permission to share their own emotional future. You must help them to connect with their own future emotions.

Let your prospect know that this is a healthy exercise.

“Sometimes it is helpful to evaluate how you will feel once you have accomplished this goal; once you own this ________. Take me there. What would it feel like if everything turned out the way you want it to?”

This is where the title of sales counselor comes into play. This is where you do your finest work.

So what is stopping you from connecting with your customer’s dreams? Typically, it is your own fear.

Get yourself out of the equation. This is not about you. It’s about serving at the deepest emotional level – the level where the customer will make the decision anyway.

Of course, there is a flip side of dreams: it’s called fear. I’ll address that in the final post of this series.

Stay tuned!


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About the Author: Jeff Shore

Jeff Shore
Jeff Shore is a highly sought-after sales expert, speaker, author and consultant whose innovative and real-world selling strategies help you to change your mindset and change your world. His latest book, "Closing 2.0," is now available. Learn more at jeffshore.com and follow Jeff on Facebook and LinkedIn.