Can Driven People Be Empathetic? 

Driven to succeed.  

Driven to be the best.  

Driven to win.  

Driven to understand others?  

Yep…that just doesn’t sound right, does it? In the space of personal and professional development, the intersection between a driven personality and an empathetic mindset has not been found often within the walls of a construction office. Often viewed as opposing qualities, they are, in fact, far from mutually exclusive. Rather, these traits can beautifully complement each other, leading to a harmonious coexistence that can bring about profound positive changes in various aspects of life.  

Today, we will explore the ways in which a driven personality and empathy can not only coexist but also enhance each other. By allowing these two to complement each other, we can ultimately benefit in a more well-rounded and effective approach to both personal and professional endeavors.  

Many years ago, when I started my career in the home building industry, construction staff were to be seen and rarely heard. As I heard many superintendents speak with buyers, it was easy to see why those rules were in place. Buyers would be concerned with issues in their homes’ construction and rather be met with an empathetic ear, they instead endured “mansplaining” or downright dismissive responses. As our industry has moved from being construction companies to sales companies, we have been working on the way we communicate with our customers. Now as we continue that growth from sales companies to companies focused on the experience, we must continue to push for growth in our teams. Demonstrating authentic empathy is critical for all community team members that interact directly with the customers.  

Motivation for Positive Change  

A driven individual, characterized by their ambition and determination, can leverage these qualities to make a remarkable impact on the world. However, it is the presence of empathy that transforms their drive into a force for positive change. When a person combines ambition with genuine compassion for the needs and struggles of others, they become motivated to work towards goals that not only benefit themselves but also contribute to the well-being of their community and society as a whole. This synergy of drive and empathy becomes a driving force for altruism, encouraging individuals to tackle pressing issues and create a better world for everyone.  

“Building a Storybrand”, a book by Donald Miller, creates a marketing foundation of being the guide to someone else’s journey rather than trying to be the hero ourselves. Another way of saying that is to be the Yoda to their Luke Skywalker journey. Once we see that this home is not our story but the journey we are serving as guide for someone else, the better the experience we will provide for our customers.  

Teamwork and Collaboration  

Empathy, with its profound capacity to understand the perspectives and feelings of others, plays a critical role in fostering effective teamwork and collaboration. In a team or collaborative setting, a driven individual with an empathetic mindset is set up to excel. They are inclined to work seamlessly with others, taking into account their concerns and needs. By striving for win-win outcomes, they create an environment where everyone’s contributions are valued and respected, leading to enhanced creativity and productivity. Such individuals become catalysts for cooperation and synergy, achieving more collectively than they could ever accomplish alone.  

Bonus Nugget: If you want to demonstrate empathy in an argument, remember the following question: “What if we’re both right?” That question is so powerful to help reframe your mindset in a discussion that could quickly get extremely negative if both sides get defensive rather than demonstrating true and authentic empathy. “What if we’re both right?”  

Effective Leadership  

Leadership is another arena where the merging of drive and empathy can yield remarkable results. Empathetic leaders possess the unique ability to inspire and motivate their teams by genuinely caring about the well-being of their team members. When a driven individual incorporates empathy into their leadership style, they foster a positive work environment characterized by trust, mutual respect, and collaboration. Such leaders lead by example, demonstrating that success can be achieved with compassion, and they are often more successful in garnering the loyalty and commitment of their team members.  

Simon Sinek, author of many amazing books, wrote “Leaders Eat Last” which explores the importance of empathy in leadership while providing practical application in how to be a more empathetic leader.  

Adaptability  

In an ever-changing world, adaptability and flexibility are essential qualities for success. Empathetic individuals, thanks to their heightened awareness of the emotions and needs of others, tend to be more adaptable. This adaptability becomes an asset for driven individuals, enabling them to respond effectively to shifting circumstances and adjust their goals and strategies as needed. Instead of being rigidly focused on their objectives, they can pivot when necessary, maintaining their drive while adapting to new challenges and opportunities.  

The business world is littered with the failed businesses that did not adapt to the changing world around them. Blockbuster, Kodak, Blackberry, Nokia, and the list goes on of companies that once dominated their industry only to be devoured by others when they failed to adapt to the changing market. Businesses are not the only ones that can be heading to their demise prematurely. Many of us have decided we no longer need to change or adapt, but rather what has worked for us for our career is how we will finish it. Our industry begs that you reconsider that mindset and instead focus on the customer experience as well as the lessons and mindset you share with those that look to you as a mentor.  

Responsible Drive  

One of the most significant benefits of empathy in combination with a driven personality is its ability to act as a moral compass. While ambition can propel individuals towards their goals, empathy ensures that these ambitions are pursued responsibly and ethically. An empathetic individual is less likely to pursue their objectives at the expense of others or engage in harmful behavior. Instead, they channel their determination into endeavors that benefit not only themselves but also those around them, aligning their drive with a sense of social responsibility.  

The Golden Rule is the guiding principle of treating others as one would expect to be treated themselves. What a world in which we would live if every person lived their lives with this rule. Instead, our world is flooded with selfish people whose collective moral compass continues to be more self-centered rather than on one focused on how we can serve others.  

Conflict Resolution  

Conflict is an inherent part of life, and driven individuals often encounter conflicts in their pursuit of goals. In such situations, an empathetic mindset becomes invaluable. It equips individuals with the skills and perspective necessary to resolve conflicts constructively. By considering the feelings and perspectives of all parties involved, empathetic individuals can find common ground and create solutions that address the needs and concerns of everyone. This not only helps in achieving resolution but also strengthens relationships, making it easier to navigate future challenges.  

We can often create lifelong fans of our companies for how we react to conflict. Where proper expectations set from the beginning to prevent issues from arising? Did we react with empathy, honesty, and transparency? Did we provide meaningful resolution in a constructive method without requiring our customers to fight what we should have freely offered? Resolve conflicts and convert satisfied customers into evangelical fans.  

The Balance Between Drive and Empathy  

While the synergy between drive and empathy can lead to extraordinary accomplishments, it’s essential to strike a balance between these two qualities. Excessive drive without empathy can result in ruthless ambition, where personal goals supersede all else. This focus can lead to negative consequences for oneself and others. Conversely, excessive empathy without drive may result in an inability to achieve meaningful goals, as the focus on others’ needs overshadows one’s own aspirations.  

Achieving this balance requires self-awareness and an understanding of when to harness one’s drive and when to pause and empathize. In doing so, individuals can ensure that their ambitions are pursued with integrity, and their empathy serves as a guiding light in their quest for success.  

Where Drive and Empathy Meets 

The coexistence of a driven personality and an empathetic mindset is not only possible but highly advantageous. These qualities, far from being contradictory, can work in harmony to bring about positive change in various aspects of life. When ambition is tempered by empathy, individuals are motivated to pursue goals that benefit not only themselves but also their communities and society as a whole. They excel in teamwork, leadership, adaptability, responsible pursuit of their ambitions, and conflict resolution.  

However, the key lies in finding the delicate balance between these traits, ensuring that ambition is guided by compassion and empathy is reinforced by determination. Ultimately, this convergence of drive and empathy paves the way for a more compassionate, successful, and well-rounded approach to life’s challenges and opportunities. 

Drive and empathy are a couple of important attributes for homebuilding teams to have if they want to provide an excellent customer experience. Customer Experience On-Demand is a monthly webinar series for homebuilders who are serious about creating exceptional, referral-generating customer experiences. Sign up and watch on your own time!